FOCUS. Something that I’ve been missing for the past few days.
Why? Because there are so many things that I want to do — I want to re-brand my online business, I want to travel to countless places, I want to quit my job so bad, and I want to fast forward to the time when everything is already in place. Wishful thinking, I know!
If you only knew how chaotic my mind is right now, you definitely wouldn’t want to be inside my head!
Worse, I feel that I am running out of time because of all the self-imposed deadlines. I need to get a grip and take a step back so I can analyze the situation better. Then again, as a typical introvert, analyzing the situation is what I’ve been doing the past few days. Perhaps, I am overthinking everything.
What’s causing all the chaos? Here’s a few snippets of my twisted mind:
First, I want to re-brand my online business because I believe it has huge potential. I want to do it this last quarter because people are on a shopping spree and I want to take advantage of that. However, there are so many things that need to be done — website relaunching, photoshoot, production, and marketing. And it’s already October!
Not to mention, there’s financial investment involved, which is necessary but scares the shit out of me. I’m not talking about a large sum of investment but since I am running on a tight budget, if this investment goes south, my financial standing will take a hit.
Second, I want to quit my job so bad because I am done taking orders from my boss but I can’t because I need the money for my business and financial obligations. At this point, I am tied to this job until I find a better alternative that would provide stable income. Even if it kills me every day, I show up and do my job because I have to.
Third, I want to travel, I always do. Every day, I imagine myself in another place. But because there are so many things that need to be done, including the financial costs, traveling long-term will have to take a back seat. My only worry is, if my online business goes on full-blast, I could be tied up here. Something that I don’t want to happen because I want so bad to go out and travel long-term again. [Note to self: I really need to set my priorities straight.]
Fourth, this blog has its own monthly goals that are also top priority. I cannot just abandon, or put on hold, this blog while I take care of my online business. But maintaining this blog is also time-consuming and so much work needs to be done especially in terms of marketing and networking.
Now tell me, do I have too much on my plate right now? Or am I just exaggerating things?
I am as organized as I can be. My Trello board is continuously growing with to-do lists day after day and it is driving me insane.
There are days when I feel that I can’t do all these on my own. It crossed my mind to get a partner for my online business to help me make decisions and minimize risks at the same time. But I can’t think of anyone who I can be comfortable working with and also knowing that I am not easy to work with.
Admittedly, I have a hard time trusting people with my business. I have a vision and not everyone will share that vision with you. Some are just in it for the money and couldn’t care less about the business that you built. It ain’t easy but if I have to do it all by myself, then by all means, I will.
A few months back, I told my friends this [with pun intended] — watch me build an empire! That’s me talking as I hit rock bottom. I didn’t have anything back then – no job, no money, and emotionally stressed – but thinking that I can start my life over and build an empire was my motivation.
Building an empire is an exaggeration of course but I just know back then that I will make something big happen one way or another. I was, and still am, determined. Why? Because I had nothing more to lose and everything to gain.
Related post: Creating the Life that I Want [A Case Study]
I feel a breakthrough is just around the corner and I can already see my life changing for the better. But before I get to that point, I need to FOCUS. Determination is still there, but FOCUS? My mind just lost it somehow in the midst of all the chaos inside my head.
And how to regain focus? Perhaps you can give me an answer to that.
Thank you for stopping by!